I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We're too hungover to prance.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
