dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
