I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
