Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
