wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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