But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
