I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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