evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
