I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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