Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
