I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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