He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
