I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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