Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
