she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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