1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
