Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
