I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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