In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
