are you still at the devil's house?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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