Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
