come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
