I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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