Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
