i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
