Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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