mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
