yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
