It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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