I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
