Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
