On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
