Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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