it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
