Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
