Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
