come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
