i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
