Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
