I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
