I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
