apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
