I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
