No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
