I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think my vagina is haunted
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
