Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
