i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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