Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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