I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
