cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
