Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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