normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
