I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
