Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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