did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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