You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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