Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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