DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
