I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
