i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Your penis caused this!
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